Another sono...

We found out the other day that we need to go to Topeka to get another sonogram.  There was something abnormal about the baby's lungs, heart, or liver.  We don't know anything else.  Everything could be just fine, but the doctors want to check things closer.  The appointment is October 12th.  So that's where we're at. 

Receiving the call the other day brought an instant turn of events.  We found out we are having a girl, started getting excited and our mind set on more pink, and then BAM.  But there's nothing I can do, and there is no need to worry.  And there is even a REALLY good thing about all of this uncertainty.  I know the ONE who IS certain.  I don't have to hold everything together, HE is.  I don't have to think about what is in the future, HE knows.  I can REST in knowing that my Savior and Lord cares for me and will hold me up through anything that I might have to face.  He has felt the pain of grief, much more than I can imagine, and HE knows. 

I know that many people have been praying for us the last couple of days, and I am so thankful.  I truly have a peace in my heart and I have found joy in this trial.  I can cling to the promises I find in scripture when the enemy's thoughts start to creep in.  It is a battle I fight many times a day and I am choosing to focus on the things that are certain rather than the things that are uncertain. Philippians 4:4-9 has helped me the last couple days. It says, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
(Philippians 4:4-9 ESV)

I am learning about that peace of God, which surpasses all understanding.  It truly does guard your hearts and minds.  I know who is forming this baby inside my womb right now, and He is making her perfect.  Maybe not perfect according to the worlds standards, but I can't think of many times the world's standards measure up to God's.  

So we will go down this unknown journey guided by Father.  We hope for the best, which could be the baby is absolutely healthy and the 1st sonogram wasn't clear.  Or we will glady share in the sufferings of Christ as we take on whatever lies ahead.  One thing is clear.  God WILL be glorified, and He WILL make His name great.  I know my faith will grow by being a part of this. That is exciting to me!

It's a.....

Well, I thought I was recording the big event. But when I went to push the button to stop recording I realized that I had not been recording.  So I will tell about it instead.

We had as many family as could make it along with a few friends that helped with the kids while we were at the sono.  I had everyone stand on one side if they thought the baby was a boy and the other side if they thought the baby was a girl.  Almost everyone was on the boy side.  So I asked Luke and Addy what color they thought the balloons were going to be.  Luke said he thought they were going to be pink. But he wanted them to be blue.  Addy said she thought they were going to be blue, but she wanted them to be pink.  Then she said it would be okay if they really were blue.  So I told them the open it up and they eagerly ripped it open.  Luke saw the pink balloons and excitedly said, "They're PINK!"  The kids were excited to play with the pink balloons until they all popped. 

My mom was thinking ahead and had a gift for the baby with a little pink outfit in it.  She had a blue one ready too, but I guess she'll have to take it back. 

At bedtime I was talking to the kids about getting another baby sister.  Luke started to cry a little and said, "Can I still take a bath with the baby? Now I won't have anyone to take a bath with."  I'm not sure why he was concerned about this because he takes baths with Brooke all the time. Then Addy said, "I'm glad it's a girl, but I kind of wanted a boy so we could play castle.  Now Brooke doesn't have a prince."  I am sure Luke will figure out that taking a bath by himself isn't such a bad thing, and Addy will find a way to play castle. 

I am just glad that I have a heavenly Father who knows exactly what child to give our family.  This little girl is a good and perfect gift from Him.  At first it was a little tough for me to let the thought of not having a brother for Luke sink in.  It's kind of like an end to the dream you've had since you were a kid.  God lets us choose so many things in life but He doesn't let us choose the gender of our children. I am glad that is something He won't let us mess up. 

It will be fun to see how our family adjusts to this new little girl when she arrives.  Scott and I are excited for all the joy and laughter that we have found comes with little girls. I know she will have two little mamas who are ready to be at her beck and call and a big brother who adores her. 

Before Thoughts about Baby #4

It’s about time to reveal the gender of baby number 4!  I had a fun time yesterday finding out on my birthday.  We had the sonogram tech print off a picture showing if the baby is a girl or boy and put it in an envelope.  Then we walked to a park and sat under a tree and talked about what things would be like if the baby is a girl and what things would be like if the baby is a boy.  We are so glad that God knows what is best and He will give us exactly what we need. 

It was fun to think about both ways.  I thought I probably wanted a boy and Scott did too.  Only because we have 2 girls and 1 boy.  Before we even got married we talked about wanting our kids to all have a brother and a sister. And I just have a feeling it is a boy.  But when I laid down on the bed and saw the little fingers and toes and heart beating on the screen it didn’t really matter anymore because I wanted THAT baby, no matter what it was. 
Then I look at my two precious girls and I think, "How could I be disappointed with another one of them?"  When I look at my little guy I think, "It would be really neat for him to have a buddy like him."  I don't wish my girls were boys and I don't wish my boy was a girl, they are so perfect.  This next baby will fit in so well, and I won't wish it is anything different.  Even if the baby isn't healthy or has some physical defect, it is the perfect baby for us and there is no way we could not love it just as much as the other kids. 

Another thing we have talked about briefly is adopting.  A while back we thought that maybe we would adopt someday, and whatever this baby is then we would adopt the opposite.  I don’t know if we will actually do that, but God has put a burden on my heart to adopt.  Scott is starting to think more that way now, but he always wanted to wait and talk about it when it was closer.  If we adopts we don’t want a bigger age gap than there is with the other kids, so it’s getting closer.  It seems like it is such a hard process though. ..

I have asked the kids several times if they would like a baby brother or a baby sister.  Luke thought he wanted a brother for a while, but recently he is saying sister.  He says that he thinks the balloons in the box will be pink and he is okay with that.  Addy has been saying she wants another sister, but all of a sudden she is saying that she thinks the balloons will be blue and she is happy with that.  So it is good to know that nobody will be disappointed.  We all know that God decided to give us a boy or a girl, and He knows what is best for our family. 

In a few hours the kids will open up a big box and will find out if they are getting a brother or a sister.  I can’t wait to see their reaction.  Scott and I are so happy for the blessing of our 4^th child and excited to let everyone know.

17 weeks

Yesterday I had a baby dr. appointment and found out I am 17 weeks.  I have a hard time keeping track this time around.  I think everything looks good.  I was a little nervous for a split second when the baby was measuring less than 17 weeks and she was having a hard time finding the heartbeat.  But Brooke was really low too.  (Does that mean it's a girl?)  The heartbeat was 130-140.  (Does that mean it's a boy?)   Brooke's heartrate was always low too.  Well, we will find out in 2 weeks!  I was able to schedule my sonogram for my birthday!  That will be fun!  We are trying to think of a fun way to tell everyone.  With the other kids we just told, but we want to do something different and fun this time.  If you have any suggestions let me know!

After we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl we will have to start thinking about names again.  You would think we have done this enough times we would have one ready to go.  Agreeing on a name is SOO hard for us.  If it's a boy I know what name Scott is going to want.  It's not a bad name, just not my first choice.  He really doesn't like any of the names I like, so I will probably settle for something he suggests.  I know it won't affect how much I love the child.  Addison, Luke and Brooke were all names he picked out and now I absolutely love those names.  And to give him credit each time I have been in labor he has told me I can name the baby whatever I want. :)

Check back in about 2 weeks to watch the video of how we find out if our baby is a he or a she!