I wasn't really heartbroken or devastated when I found out. Those words are too strong. I was glad that we knew why she was so tired, drinking so much water, and losing weight. I was sad, because I knew the hassle of checking your blood sugar and giving insulin injections, but I knew that people with diabetes have normal lives. I was probably shocked more than anything, and dreading the changes. I knew I would be giving my daughter shots, pricking her finger multiple times, and counting carbs to determine how much insulin to give her. And I knew it wouldn't be fun.
But Addison has been a trooper. Not once has she complained about having to test her blood sugar or get an injection. She was so thankful that we figured out why she was thirsty and tired all the time and that she is going to get better. There will be many challenges learning to live with diabetes, but there will be many blessings as well. I have already begun to see them.
Addison was excited to get a gift box with little goodies at the hospital.
We are learning how to give and injection. I'm glad my mom got to come along to learn how to do it.
It's good to pay very close attention.
This is RIGHT outside Addison's window. She had never been so close to a helicopter before and it was REALLY cool. She got to see it land and take off.
Looking back and the past few months, I can see that God has been preparing me for this. And I am so thankful. If I didn't know the Lord, I think I would be a wreck. I am tempted to worry and fear the future, but that's when I remind myself of the promises in scripture.
God will not leave me or forsake me, He is always near. He cares for me, He cares for Addy. He knows, He has a plan, it is good. Here are some of the blessings I have already seen from this.
Any time I start worrying about the future, (how are we going to pay for all the extra insulin, Dr. appointments, we just bought a house!) I force myself to think about the future. The real future, the one that lasts FOREVER. The one where there will be no sin, no pain, no crying, no DIABETES! New bodies that are perfect! And I also think about the fact that Scott and Addy will only be diabetic for a little while longer. This helps long for heaven and Jesus' return even more. I am thankful for that constant reminder.
I must trust God to provide financially. I like to see where all our money is coming from and going. I like to see it fit neatly into each category, and I like to have a little left over. Right now, I can't see that. I just have to trust that God will provide all we need. I don't know how much Addy's diabetic supplies will cost, I don't know how much the insurance will pay, I don't know how much our bills are going to be when we move to our new house. But I do know that God will make it work. We will have what we need. I get to sit back and watch how God does it. All our money is His anyway.
Scott's mom and I now have another thing in common. She knows what it is like when your child develops diabetes. She knows the ache of a mother's heart when suddenly everything changes. We have the same heartache.
I know that there will be many more blessings, and God will use this for our good. He is showing me what it means to have JOY. It is not dependent on my circumstances. It is dependent on the one thing that can never be taken away. In this life my heart will ache and my mind and body will be weary, but my hope in the Lord is secure. I am encouraged when I think about my Savior, whose heart ached and whose body was weary, who felt the pain of the curse when He died on the cross, and triumphed over sin and death.
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